Halo World
by SunTreader
Summary: What happens when Lionblaze accidentally shifts the clans to a different reality, a reality where different video games and stories merge. The story starts off with Halo (the video game) and later includes the anime show Souleater. Warning: extreme stupidity and a lot of swearing sometimes.
1. Chapter 1

**Clan Characters**

Leader- Firestar apprentice: Nightpaw

Deputy- Brambleclaw (is an alcoholic)

Medicine cat- Jayfeather

**Warriors**

Racistfur ( is racist ) brown tom

Graystripe (has a therapist and a psychologist)

Treeshadow (has no soul) balck and white tom,is locked in a cellar

Thornclaw (doesn't like swearing)

Cloudtail

Sandstorm apprentice: Parispaw

Squirrelflight

Hollyleaf

Lionblaze

Birchfall

Foxtail

Icecloud

Ashfur (always is making plans to kill squirrelflight)

_Leafpool joined windclan_

Daisy (is lame)

**Apprentices**

Winterpaw- blue grey tom with dark blue eyes, fur is kind of sort of long

Nightpaw- small black she cat with deep amber eyes

Ivypaw

Parispaw - bitchy light gray tabby she cat, blue eyes.

**Queens**

Brightheart -(mother of Moonkit and Mosskit)

-(mother of Yellowkit and Bluejaykit)

**Other Cats**

Ghost Speak- lithe very very light grey she cat with silvery sheen. pale blue gray eyes

Lionblaze was curled up sleepily, basking in the golden sunlight. He was taking a short nap in the forest, he had been on and early patrol and had been hunting since he got back and had decided to rest for a while. The heat of the height of summer made his paws heavy and weighed on his thick golden pelt with drowsiness. After the sun began to descend in the clear summer sky he got up and stretched before gathering his prey and taking it to camp. Because of all the hunting he'd done he had caught an impressive amount and needed to take two trips to bring all of it back.

When he was done placing the last load of prey on the fresh kill pile he saw his sister, Hollyleaf, approaching him. He turned to walk away but it was too late. "Oh my god Lionblaze! I think Firestar broke the warrior code!" _"And I think you need to calm the hell down for once!_" Lionblaze thought in annoyance "Why do you have to be so fuckin paranoid about the warrior code? It's just a bunch of goddam rules old dead cats made up a hundred freaking years ago!" Lionblaze snapped. "But we NEED the warrior code! Don't you understand? We wouldn't survive without it! " Hollyleaf gasped in shock. "Hollyleaf. Look around, does it look like anyone cares?" Lionblaze hissed. Hollyleaf glared at him through narrowed eyes and stalked away. Just then Brambleclaw staggered into camp.

"Holy shit! Why is everyone just standing there doing absolutely nothing! Really!" He yelled angrily. Mostly everyone ignored him. A lot of the cats knew that the reason why Brambleclaw was such a stupid bastard was because he was always drunk. He was a stupid bastard anyways though, even before he discovered alcohol. "You fuckin cats! Lionblaze! Lead a goddam patrol. Ivypaw, Parispaw, Dovepaw, Leafpool, Tigerface, and Racistfur, go with him"

"Um, Brambleclaw? Dovepaw got caught by twolegs and Leafpool joined Windclan" Thornclaw reminded tentatively. "Yeah and who the hell is Tigerface" Ivypaw snapped. "I don't fucking know! " Brambleclaw yelled. "You goddam bastards. Fine then. Ashfur will go instead of Tigerface" "Tigerface doesn't exist-" Cloudtail said but Brambleclaw cut him off. "Be _QUIET_" he growled "Okay then, lets go" Lionblaze said.

Ivypaw, Parispaw, Ashfur, and Racistfur followed Lionblaze out of camp. All the way through the trail he could hear them talking. "Squirrelflight needs to suffer for her sins" Ashfur growled quietly. "Squirrelflight is a ginger. She has no soul. Everyone knows that gingers have no souls." Racistfur said matter of factly. "So if she dies, does that mean she won't go to starclan?" Ashfur asked hopefully. "Of course she won't. If you don't have a fucking soul you can't go anywhere when you die. Tabbies and blacks don't go to starclan either. That's what the dark forest is for"

"Hey you bitch! You don't even know what the hell you're talking about." Ivypaw exploded, "There are all kinds of cats in the dark forest! And fucking starclan too! Firestar a ginger and he isn't gonna go to the fuckin dark forest, he's a goody two shoes kittypet! Just ask Tigerstar!" Lionblaze turned in surprise, suddenly not infinitely bored. "How do you know so much about the Dark forest and Tigerstar?" he queried suspiciously. Ivypaw froze in alarm, "None of your goddam business!" She snapped viciously.

Suddenly Parispaw spoke, "Look at that dead cat. That is like so hot" Parispaw was motioning towards a dead corpse hanging from a tree several feet ahead of them. "What the hell?" Lionblaze looked at its empty eyes in shock. They had been so distracted being racist that they hadn't even noticed untill Parispaw had pointed it out.

"How?" Lionblaze gasped. "Ashfur was staring at it in disappointment. "I thought it was Squirrelflight at first" Ashfurs voice was drained of excitement and he hung his head." It's actually Dovepaw."

"Yay! Dovepaw died!" Ivypaws eyes shone in pure joy. "I had thought she might have gotten killed but I didn't want to get my hopes up...now I see I wouldn't have been disappointed. This is the best day of my life…" Lionblaze stared at the mangy corpse ahead of him, it did look a bit like Dovepaw... "Wait, no it's not, that's a rogue I don't know." Lionblaze affirmed as he inspected it more carefully. "But why?"

Suddenly he noticed a faint blue light shining in the distance. "Wait here. I want to go see something" Lionblaze told the others and began to follow it. He wanted to find what the hell it was coming from.

As he followed the direction of the light it grew brighter until is was all around him, blotting out everything else. The trees were just faint shadows in it's brightness. Lionblaze gazed in wonder, entranced by the strange beautiful light all around him. Then all of sudden it was gone. Lionblaze stopped in his tracks wand walked back a few paces. It didn't come back. "Shit!" Lionblaze muttered. He couldn't find it again!

Then all of a sudden a cat-sized tank drove by. Racistfur was driving and Ashfur was riding shotgun. "Holy shit Lionblaze! Why the fuck are you standing out in the open, dumbass! You're gonna get sho-" Ashfur was halted abruptly when Ivypaw sniped him from a tree. "Traitor!" Racistfur yelled. "You fucking tabby cat! We're supposed to be fighting the covenant!"

Ivypaw smiled at Racistfur in response, eyes glinting dangerously. "Fuck!" Lionblaze yelled and raced away. He  
might have been the greatest warrior in battle, but he doubted it mattered when his enemies had guns. He hid behind a metal building that had never been there before. _What the hell is going on? Why the hell is all this stuff showing up, guns, tanks, and everyone is acting like its normal? Wait. Guns…tanks…this is awesome! _Lionblazes fear melted away. He was still the greatest warrior, he just needed some weapons!


	2. Chapter 2 this isn't a dream

**Chapter 2**

Lionblaze was fortunate enough to find a stash of weapons hidden away in the building, including a rocket launcher, a magnum, a couple grenades, and a few other weapons. He noticed he was wearing a belt and fastened his magnum to it along with a couple grenades. The rocket launcher was heavy but he was extremely strong and slung it across his back somehow without much difficulty. His fur had changed from golden tabby to camo. Lionblaze left the building, excitement making his senses even sharper. He had no idea what the hell was going on, but he was going to have some fun. He headed towards camp. He knew at this point that he was having an awesome dream and wanted to see if the cats in camp had lethal weapons too, then he wanted to go into battle…

Lionblaze looked down into the camp. Graystripe ,who was insane even in the waking world since Millie died, was looking his psychologist. Other than the pistol he carried he was normal, well insane, but normal as in the same as he was in the waking world. Firestars den was guarded by Thornclaw and Cloudtail, both heavily armed. Birchfall and Hollyleaf were guarding the camp entrance, also with multiple weapons.

"Hi Lionblaze" Birchfall greeted as Lionblaze entered the camp. "Lionblaze! I think the warrior code is being broken-"Hollyleaf began to say. Lionblaze shot her head off. Birchfall seemed like he was about to say something but just shrugged and continued keeping watch. No one really seemed to care. Obviously Hollyleaf annoyed everyone else too. Then Jayfeather came running towards Lionblaze. His eyes were wide in alarm and confusion, for once without the cool exterior he normally had.

"Lionblaze! What did you do?"Jayfeather asked frantically "What do you mean? This is a dream" Lionblaze stared at his brother in confusion. Usually the cats in his dreams just acted like everything was normal. "No Lionblaze, this is somehow real. Look, You might not be able to, but I can tell the difference from a dream and waking reality. Besides, starclan sent me a vision last night warning me of this. They told me someone was going to open a portal, they told me only seven cats would know what had happened, and that we had to save the clans." "Yeah well we kind of already knew that last part…" Lionblaze trailed off "does that mean Hollyleaf is really dead? Lionblazes heart soared in hope as Jayfeather smiled and nodded, joy sparkling in his blue eyes. Lionblaze felt like crying in happiness. "I never thought this day would come so soon." " We will never have to hear about the fucking warrior code again" Jayfeather thanked Starclan in his mind.


	3. Chapter 3 a few hours earlier

**Chapter 3** A few hours earlier…

Nightpaw followed the dawn patrol out of the clearing. It was just after sunrise, and her paws were damp from the dew still clinging to the soft green grass. Leaves rustled overhead from a light breeze, whispering softly as the birds chirped and cawed excitedly from above. She was enjoying the briskness of dawn before it would become blazing heat in a few short hours.

Graystripe, Brightheart, Sandstorm, and Sandstorms apprentice Parispaw were a few paw steps ahead of her. Graystripe was constantly stopping and looking behind him, eyes wide in panic every time he heard or saw any sign of movement . He slunk in the shadows of the surrounding trees, whispering to himself from time to time. He had been like that ever since Millie got murdered by Silverstream, who came back from the dead for vengeance five or six moons ago.

"OMG! My paws are like getting wet! What if my hot claw polish wears off! I don't have any extra with me to like repaint them before I like get back to camp! This is so unhot! " Parispaw suddenly shrieked, startling a blackbird that Sandstorm had been stalking.

"Parispaw! You just cost your clan valuable prey. Be _quiet_!" sandstorm scolded. "Fine then" Parispaw sulked. A few minutes later, Nightpaw noticed a mouse stirring in the undergrowth, she prepared to pounce when Parispaw began randomly bitching about her paws again. " My paws are like completely SOAKED! What if I get like sick or if my claw polish like comes off or -"

"You fuckin klutz! " Nightpaw exploded "No one cares about your fucking paws! You just scared off my fuckin prey and you're fucking distracting everyone. Do you have any idea how fucking angry you make me? " she turned to glare at Sandstorm. "And you just had to bring along your fucking dumbass apprentice-"

"Nightpaw!" Brightheart scolded, shocked. Nightpaw ignored turned to face Nightpaw, "Do you honestly think I ever wanted this stupid klutz as an apprentice? Firestar had to be a moron again and give me the worst apprentice possible on the face of the earth. And-"

At this point Nightpaw got sick the other cats. She turned and bounded away. She heard Brightheart call her name, but there was no way that she was going to stop. She couldn't stand the them, especially Sandstorm and Parispaw, mainly Parispaw. And she definitely didn't want to stick around to get yelled at.

Unfortunately Nightpaw ended up running into Hollyleaf and Cloudtail, who were hunting. Hollyleaf watched her suspiciously. "Have you been breaking the warrior code! ?" She looked as if she was about to say something else so Nightpaw hit her in the head with a tree branch. Cloudtail looked at Nightpaw and then at Hollyleaf running yelling and crying towards camp. He shrugged and walked away to continue hunting. Nightpaw stood alone, satisfied that she didn't have to be around anyone else for a few moments.

Then she remembered that she was supposed to meet Firestar, who also happened to be her mentor, in camp when she was done dawn patrol. Nightpaw sighed. _The dawn patrol will be getting back in a few minutes… _

When she got to camp Firestar was waiting for her. "Where were you?" he asked "Nowhere." "Weren't you supposed to come back with the patrol?" "No." "Are you sure?" "Yes." Firestar paused and gazed into the distance for a few moments. "Do you get along well with the other apprentices?" "No." "Maybe you should try to make friends with some of them" "No." "Why don't you try talking to Icepaw, or Foxpaw?" "No." It was obvious why Firestar hadn't suggested Parispaw or Ivypaw. Without looking at her Firestar asked, "Do you think I am a good leader?" "No." "What, would you rather have Tigerstar as your leader?" "Yes." That shut him up. Nightpaw lifted a paw and began casually washing her fur. Firestar looked significantly disturbed. Nightpaw resisted the impulse to smile, pleased with herself.

"Wow. Umm… lets um, do some battle training…" Nightpaw looked up and stared at him when Firestar just sat there shuffling his paw for a few moments. Firestar snapped his head up, obviously aware of Nightpaws gaze. "Right. Let's go." Firestar said and turned to leave the clearing.

As they left the camp Nightpaw felt something change. She stopped dead in her tracks. She didn't know what it was but something was different than it was a few seconds ago. It seemed very important for some reason that she should know what it was. "Nightpaw what are you doing?" Firestar asked , looking puzzled. Nightpaw turned to look at him. He had a gun slung across his back. Somehow. Somehow a cat sized gun had just appeared. She stared at him. He didn't seem to notice anything unusual. He did notice her gaze burning into him, and he looked away, seeming uneasy. But that was normal, him being scared of her.

"Come on" Firestar ordered, trying to sound authoritive and commanding. Nightpaw followed hesitantly. After a while Firestar halted. "We'll train here, Nightpaw, try to throw a knife in the center of that tree. Nightpaw said nothing, suddenly noticing a knife belt around her waist. She pulled out a knife. It was small but obviously extremely sharp. It curved lethally, shining as it reflected light. She smiled slightly. She liked it. She gripped the handle and threw it towards the tree. It hit her target, but was off center a bit. Still, she knew it was pretty good. She turned to face her mentor, somehow not surprised that she had just somehow developed knife throwing skills over the course of a few minutes. Firestar nodded. "Well done. I doubt I could teach you to throw better, since I specialize in mostly guns and explosives. I haven't used knives in a long time. So I'll let you practice a while on your own." Nightpaw nodded. She knew Firestar really just wanted to go and play with explosives.


	4. Chapter 4 Winterpaw

Winterpaw followed Jayfeather into the medicine cat den. It was his first moon as an apprentice and he would have loved it if it hadn't been for Ivypaw, Foxpaw and Paris paw. The three of them always found some reason to make fun of him. "Winterpaw, go back and get some more coltsfoot, will you?" Jayfeather said. "Okay" Winterpaw mewed and dashed out of camp

"Hey Winterpaw" Winterpaw spun around, recognizing Ivypaws taunting voice. "Going to pick some flowers, Winterpaw? That must be _really_ hard work."

"They're _herbs_" He growled through clenched jaws. He was about to say something else when Foxpaw stalked up to him. "Poor Winterpaw, you're so useless. Luckily you'll never be a warrior. You'd be dead by your first battle" Foxpaw sneered.

"Shut up you fucking arrogant bastard!" Winterpaw screeched, lashing his tail in anger, and launched himself at the older apprentice. Winterpaw had never had any battle training but instincts helped him as he clawed Foxpaws flank. "You damn cat!" Foxpaw screeched and threw Winterpaw to the ground and tore his claws through Winterpaws back. Winterpaw began to feel a bit panicked, Foxpaw was nearly a fully trained warrior. "Next time you do anything like that I'll kill you!" Foxpaw growled, towering over him. "Fuck off!" Winterpaw yelled.

Just then Foxpaw pricked his ears "Patrol!" He called to Ivypaw before they darted away. Winterpaw struggled to his paws and threw himself under a bush. He didn't want any cat to see him. He didn't want to explain anything and he knew that no matter what it would end badly for him if he told on Foxpaw and Ivypaw. He heard Cloudtail and Thornclaw talking. "hey do you have a smoke?" Cloudtail asked. "No I gave the last one to Jayfeather, he said he needed it for medicinal purposes." They passed without noticing anything.

A few moments later Winterpaw caught Jayfeathers scent close by. Curious, he followed him, wondering what he was doing. After a few minutes of carefully following Jayfeathers scent trail he saw him disappear behind the old twoleg nest.

Winterpaw peered around the edge of the crumbling wall to see Jayfeather pass the Thunderclan border and enter the territory of no clans. Sharp curiosity pulled Winterpaw forward. Jayfeather walked a bit more until he would be well hidden from any cat on clan territory before stopping at a cluster of plants.

Winterpaw automatically tried to identify them, catmint was the only familiar one. Then he recognized another one, his eyes widened, it was marijuana! He recognized the scent from Jayfeathers den. Jayfeather smoked it all the time, but no one dared say anything or ask him to share. Mintpaw stole some once and in the morning he had disappeared and was never seen again. Since then everyone was really careful about what they said or did around Jayfeather.

"Winterpaw you little fucker" Jayfeather suddenly muttered. Winterpaw froze. "If you were any other cat I would kill you but since you're my apprentice I guess I would have told you eventually anyways" "Jayfeather is that weed?" Winterpaw asked. "Of course it is, come here, it'll show you what the rest are" Jayfeather showed him a plant with something in it called DMT, as well as a bunch of heroin and multiple other fascinating plants Winterpaw couldn't remember all at once.

"The only thing we don't have access to is cocaine, Firestar stole all of it and we can't get anymore. Ravenpaw was the one who sold it to us but since we left the old forest we never see him anymore." "Is that why whenever someone goes in Firestars den he freaks out so much?" "Yeah Firestar has a whole stash in the back of his den" Jayfeather replied. "Anyways I was just checking up on my garden, we can go back to camp now. " Winterpaw nodded and followed Jayfeather back to Thunderclan. Just then Cloudtail and Thornclaw ran into them. Winterpaw stared. They had twoleg weapons and their fur was dyed mostly camo. "What the hell?" Winterpaw muttered. "Winterpaw!" Thornclaw meowed condescendingly as if he had done something wrong. "Oh Thornclaw for fucks sake, all he said was hell" Jayfeather muttered. Suddenly Jayfeather froze. "What the hell?" Jayfeather said, staring at Cloudtail and Thornclaw. "How did you get those twoleg weapons?" Jayfeather asked.

Cloudtail and Thornclaw stared back at him in confusion. "What? We've always had these Jayfeather, the clans have always had twoleg weapons. How else would we fight the covenant?" Everyone stared at each other for a few moments, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Thornclaw and Cloudtail didn't seem to notice that anything was different, they were just staring at Jayfeather like he was crazy.

"Okay Winterpaw, lets go back to camp" Jayfeather said , speaking slowly and calmly as if he was trying to control himself. Winterpaw nodded tensely and followed him away from the other cats.

When they were far out of earshot Jayfeather halted, Winterpaw was shocked to see his eyes wide with fear and confusion. He had never seen Jayfeather like this ever. "Holy fuck, Lionblaze…" "What? Wait, how did you know Thornclaw and Cloudtail had the twoleg weapons when you can't see them?"

Jayfeather stared at him for a moment. "I saw them. I can see… somehow .." "Then why are you pretending to be blind?" "No Winterpaw you moron. Usually I am blind, obviously. But I can see in my dreams." "So this is a dream?" "Actually… no…no, this is somehow not a dream. Starclan told me Lionblaze, that dumb cat, was going to really fuck things up…" "How?" "He was going to open a fucking portal! Shit! I have to go talk to him!" And with that Jayfeather bolted towards camp. Winterpaw struggled to follow him but Jayfeather was faster and was soon out of sight.


	5. Chapter 5 FIrestars Having a Great Day

"Jayfeather what are we going to do?" "Well… get high obviously." "No I mean to close the portal!" "I don't know, just give me a while to think!" Jayfeather snapped

Lionblaze was about to say something but he suddenly noticed Firestar running through camp while singing "Great Day" by Lonely Island. There was white powder all over his face and he was laughing hysterically.

"It's a wonderful day, makes me feel so happy that my face is numb." Firestar stopped singing when he seemed to notice Cloudtail who had been yelling at Firestar to stop singing for the past half hour.

"Hello my friend, Cloudtail my bestest friend" "Thank god you finally stopped singing that fucking song. Brambleclaw has been wanting to talk to you for the past forty five minutes." "Firestar the covenant are planning an attack" Brambleclaw said, panicked. "No one cares Brambleclaw, we live in the matrix" "what?" "Can you hear the birds chirping?! They sound so happy today! Can you hear them?" "Yes we can all hear the fucking birds" Cloudtail said.

Just then Sandstorm stalked up to Firestar, looking really pissed off. "Firestar you pathetic fucking coke head, smarten the fuck up for once. The covenant is going to kill us all if you don't." "What?" "Firestar you stupid cat!" Sandstorm hissed, then stepped forward and glared at him directly in his eyes, "Firestar you fag I wish Tigerstar had killed you" Cloudtail nodded sadly in agreement with Sandstorm.

"_Sandstorm,_ don't be like that" Firestar whined. Cloudtail touched Firestars shoulder with his tail supportedly "Firestar you have to listen to me-" "Hey! Hey get the fuck off me! Fuck off! Fuck off! You fuckin cat! Fuck off!" Firestar started screaming savagely at Cloudtail, eyes wide in sudden rage.

Everyone froze in shock. "Wait, just a minute" Firestar said before staggering back into his den and coming out again a few minutes later with more white powder all over his face. "it's a wonderful day Cloudtail! I don't know why!" Firestar said as he frolicked in circles around camp. "I'm a prancing magical horse! Cloudtail can you tell?" "For fucks sake…" "Cloudtail can you tell?" Then Firestar started spinning his tail in circles as fast as he could while laughing hysterically. "Look! I'm a helicopter Brambleclaw! I'm going to fly to El Dorado!" Lionblaze wasn't really sure what to do so he just stood and stared with everyone else. "Wow Cloudtail I'm floating! Cloudtail I'm floating in the matrix!"

Suddenly Bramble claw jumped up on the highrock "Okay! From now on everyone ignore Firestar when he's on cocaine" "No bitch!" Firestar screeched and launched himself at Brambleclaw, knocking him off the highledge. "I am leader and you can't question me!" "He is right" Cloudtail agreed reluctantly "We can't take orders from Brambleclaw if Firestar doesn't agree with them."

"I know! lets play charades! I'm a helicopter!' Firestar said and started spinning his tail around in circles again. "And I'm a floating jungle horse!" Icecloud yelled as she bounded from Firestars cave before she started prancing around camp.

"That's not even how you play charades!" Squirrelflight snapped. Firestar was staring at Icecloud suspiciously "Have you been stealing my meth?!" Firestar challenged, suddenly hostile again. "Er..no… I got it from someone else…. I forget his name." Icepaw stammered.

"Well if you ever remember make sure you tell me, my stash won't last forever… well maybe it will if I make a deal with the Cheshire cat again…. If he would come back… Oh my bestest Cheshire cat friend left me all alone! I'm so alone! I loved Cheshire cat kitty so much… and now I'm all alone!" Firestar began alternating between weeping and laughing hysterically. "Ha Ha Ha I'm so desolately alone! My Cheshire kitty cat kitty left me. We were supposed to be together forever! I don't even like sandstorm anyways. I always hated that stuck up bitch!"

"Holy fuck Firestar did you really just say that? Bitch!" Sandstorm screeched, claws unsheathed and fur on end she reached for her shotgun. Before she could attack him Lionblaze leaped forward and knocked her to the ground.

"Kill sandstorm! Make Squirrelflight pay!" Ashfur cheered. "No you insane cat. We're not going to kill her." "But you just shot her!" "Yeah, with a tranquilizer you fucking moron." Jayfeather retorted sharply. "Do you see blood everywhere? Is Sandstorms head blown off like Hollyleafs was? No bitch, obviously not." "What about Hollyleaf?" Brightheart asked. "Nothing. She's fine. In fact, she's where she's supposed to be, six feet under the-" "Okay! Lets talk about something else!" Lionblaze yelled over Jayfeather voice.


	6. Chapter 6 Nightpaw and Winterpaw

The next day Winterpaw woke up from an uneasy sleep. He still didn't know what was going on, but other than Jayfeather everyone was acting like everything was perfectly normal. I disturbed him how quickly he was getting used to this reality. He wanted to go back, but this was already starting to feel normal to him. Nightpaw seemed to know something had changed though. At first at least, but Winterpaw knew that Nightpaw rarely showed her emotions anyways.

"No I do not have cocaine! Why would I have cocaine? Why the hell would you think that Cloudtail? Obviously I've never even been high off anything, let alone cocaine you stupid cat." Winterpaw could hear Firestar yelling. "Do you not remember yesterday?" Cloudtail challenged "Yesterday didn't even happen!" "Sure." Cloudtail snapped.

"Okay then! I have an announcement to make! All cats old enough to catch their own prey get the hell over here!" Firestar shouted. Winterpaw stretched and headed towards the clearing with the other cats. Normally they would be looking up expectantly at their leader but today they didn't really seem to care what Firestar had to say. Firestar didn't seem to notice as he jumped up on the highledge. "Okay, I don't do cocaine." Firestar declared, "That is all."

Most of the cats turned and went back to whatever they were doing but some just stared at him for a few moments. "Firestar you just did yesterday." Birchfall said. Firestar fixed him with a savage glare "You're being a traitor Birchfall, one more comment and you're banished" . "Okay, holy shit" Birchfall muttered "I'll shoot you!" "Yeah right!" "No I won't, you're right. Instead I'm sending you on a suicide mission in Shadowclan. I'll give you the details tomorrow" Firestar growled and stalked away. Birchfall stared after him, stunned.

The realization that his leader was so insane disturbed Winterpaw, but then he worries disappeared when he noticed Nightpaw enter camp with a patrol. He really liked Nightpaw, he realized. Maybe he should try to talk to her. She kind of scared most of the cats, but Winterpaw admired her. She did whatever she wanted and she never tried to fit in or conform with the rest of the cats.

"Hey Nightpaw, want to go hunting with me?" Winterpaw asked, suddenly really nervous. He couldn't believe he had just asked that, and he found himself terrified that she would say no.

Nightpaw looked at him for a moment, Winterpaws nervousness increased as her gaze fell on him. He noticed how pretty her deep amber eyes were and quickly looked away. "Sure." Nightpaw said.

Winterpaw was surprised that she had said yes, and started to feel a bit more hopeful. 'Where do you want to hunt?" Winterpaw asked as they left the camp. "Wherever you want, I usually hunt off clan territory" Nightpaw laughed "But isn't that illegal?" "And?" "Okay, lets go." "Off clan territory?" "Yeah, it sounds fun." Winterpaw realized that he was more concerned about what Nightpaw thought of him than what would happen if he got caught. He stopped for a moment, what _would_ happen if he got caught? Well, his leader was always on cocaine, Brambleclaw was an alcoholic ever since he broke up with Squirrelflight, and Jayfeahter might have even murdered(or at least kidnapped) someone, Treeshadow killed cats all the time and no one cared. Though they did lock Treeshadow up in a cellar for the rest of his life when he tried to kill Firestar. They only let him out in battles because he was useful. Winterpaw would never do anything that bad, besides, as long as he was never as idiotic as Parispaw he knew hewould always be okay.

He bounded after Nightpaw through the trees, enjoying the feel of wind through his fur and dappled sunlight flashing between the leaves overhead. He didn't hesitate when they crossed the Thunderclan border, he just hoped that a patrol hadn't seen them. After putting some distance between them and the border Nightpaw slowed her pace to call back to Winterpaw. "There's an old abandoned twoleg nest not far from here, do you want to stay here or keep on going?" "Sure, I don't care how far we go as long as we can find our way back." Winterpaw replied, excitement making it easier to ignore how out of breath he was after running for so long.

Finally they stopped when they got to the old twoleg nest. The roof had collapsed on one side of the building and the windows stared emptily into the forest, glace fallen shattered on the ground below them. It was a tall twoleg nest, having two levels, and was made of the square stones that twolegs called bricks. Winterpaw and Nightpaw sat down near the entrance, saying nothing for a few heartbeats to catch their breath.

"This place is really cool." Winterpaw said. "You should see the roof, you can see everything from up there." Nightpaw mewed. Winterpaw glanced up and down the smooth stone walls, there was hardly anything to use as pawholds. "Do you climb a tree and jump from there? The house looks pretty hard to climb." "The twolegs built steps to go to the second level, and then I just jumped up where the roof had caved in a bit." Nightpaw replied.

Winterpaw noticed her tone was friendlier than usual. Usually she ignored or snapped at most of the cats, though Winterpaw didn't blame her, the clan was really annoying, especially Parispaw, and Ivypaw and Foxtail too. Also Sandstorm, Squirrelflight, Brightheart, Thornclaw, Brambleclaw, Daisy, Ashfur, Birchfall, Firestar, Dustpelt, Icecloud, and sometimes Jayfeather, Cloudtail, and Lionblaze, though it would just be easier to just say basically everyone except Nightpaw.

"Winterpaw, are you coming?" Nightpaw asked, friendly laughter glimmering in her eyes. "Oh, yeah."Winterpaw stammered, jumping to his feet, and began following Nightpaw into the Twoleg nest.


	7. Chapter 7 Covenant Threat

"All Thunderclan cats get over here right now." Firestar snapped, bounding up onto the highledge. Lionblaze tried not to glare at him but it was becoming an immediate reaction whenever Firstar spoke. "Okay! Ashfur! Stand the fuck up and tell the clan what you told me."

Ashfur stood and turned towards the clan, being very serious. Then he shifted his gaze to Firestar for a few heartbeats. "Okay, Firestar I think you're really hot."

"No! The other thing you told me!" Firestar shrieked. "What the hell?" Birchfall said. "I mean I think we should kill Squirrelflight before it's too late." Ashfur said.

"No! The other one!"

"Oh. I was hunting by the lake and I saw a covenant submarine thing coming out of the water."

"What?" "Holy shit!" "I told you the covenant had found our lake territories!" "No shit sherlock you just figured that out?"

"Okay!" Firestar screamed over the panicked voices of the clan. "Everyone be silent for a minute!" The cats reluctantly calmed down to let Firestar speak. "Okay. What I want to know is why I was never warned." Firestar said, staring at the warriors accusingly. "Obviously there must have been signs of the covenant. A whole fucking submarine did not just appear in the middle of the lake."

Before he had even finished speaking Brambleclaw had thrown himself into a rage, screaming and smashing himself against the base of the highledge. Lionblaze, Cloudtail, Sandstorm and Birchfall began cursing angrily at Firestar, eyes blazing. 'You fucking little bitch for fucks sake you fucking fucker-" Brambleclaw screeched.

"That much swearing is a little unnecessary, don't you think?' Thornclaw said. "It's pretty sinful" he continued. Lionblaze, Sandstorm, Birchfall, Racistfur, Ashfur, Ivypaw, Foxtail and Cloudtail all turned to stare at Thornclaw in angry disbelief.

"What the hell Thornclaw? Do you want me to shoot you to pieces right now?" Lionblaze growled, lashing his tail. "Yeah Thornclaw, who the hell do you think you are?" Squirrelflight snapped.

"Well I was just saying…." Thornclaw muttered. "I _will_ kill you if you want." Ashfur hissed, eyes shadowed with hatred that for the first time in his life wasn't directed towards Squirrelflight.

"No, don't kill him right now. He can go on the Shadowclan suicide mission too." Firestar said. As soon as he spoke all the surrounding cats turned to fix Firestar with a savage glare "We did tell you, Brambleclaw and I were screaming at you for over an hour yesterday." Cloudtail snapped.

"Wait!" Daisy screeched and suddenly ran running towards them "Where's Winterpaw? He disappeared this morning and I don't know where he went and it's almost night! What if a fox killed him!" "For fucks sake no one cares he's probably just fine." Lionblaze snapped, "If he's not back by moon high then come tell me."

Just then Jayfeather came running into camp. "Covenant are on the Windclan shore close to our border, I saw a few hunters and there's a lot of jackals and a few ghosts at least." The clan immediately responded with fear clearly evident in most of their voices.

"Okay, everyone. Don't panic." Firestar said. "But this is really bad!" Thornclaw growled, "What are we going to do?!" Brightheart asked, remaining eye wide with fear. "I'll tell you what we're going to do." Firestar said "First Jayfeather is going to give everyone some special herbs, then we will organize a battle patrol, except for Birchfall, Thornclaw, Winterpaw, and Nightpaw, who are going to take this perfect opportunity to go on a suicide mission to the covenant submarine. " Firestar ordered. "oh and Parispaw will go too." "That's like really hot!" Parispaw commented.

"Why Winterpaw and Nightpaw? I mean I know you're mad at Birchfall and Thornclaw, and Parispaw is just a fucking moron, but why two random apprentices?" Squirrelflight challenged. "yeah Winterpaw isn't even a warrior apprentice." Ashfur commented. "Exactly why he's expendable…." Firestar hissed. "YOU FUCKING MORON!" Jayfeahter shrieked. "My fucking apprentice isn't as expendable as you think! He knows things that are very important. If I died and Winterpaw was killed on the mission who would know how to take care of my "herb" garden? Besides he's my apprentice and I would much rather you die than him."

"Jayfeather listen to me just this once, or I will break your stick." Firestar threatened. "You don't even know where I hid it!" Jayfeather growled angrily "Hollyleaf told me because she thought it would be breaking the warrior code if she didn't, I know exactly where it is and I can send the fastest warrior to go get it right now." Firestar said.

Beside him Jayfeather could hear Lionblaze muttering to himself about how shooting Hollyleaf was the best headshot he had ever done. Jayfeather just wished Lionblaze had been able to do it sooner.


	8. Chapter 8 Only Exception

Nightpaw and Winterpaw walked side by side through the forest, prey hanging from their jaws. The sun had nearly completely set and the darkening horizon was streaked with dark red, purple, and orange.

Nightpaw usually didn't like most other Thunderclan cats but she had concluded by the end of the day that Winterpaw was an exception. She had never told anyone but deep inside she wished she was still with Shadowclan. She missed the comforting silence the cats shared and the huge dark pine trees watching over the forest. She missed the absence of bitching and gossiping that plagued Thunderclan camp all the time. Here in Thunderclan no one knew when to shut the fuck up.

Beside her Winterpaw halted and put down his prey so he could speak, Nightpaw did the same, she liked talking to Winterpaw and for once she nearly wanted a break from silence. They were just inside clan territory by now.

"I don't want to go back to camp right now." Nightpaw mewed. Winterpaw shook his head "Me neither. How about we bury our prey here for a while." Nightpaw nodded and scraped a hollow in the ground before placing her prey in it and kicking soil and dead leaves over it to protect it from predators better.

"Don't you notice something… different, Winterpaw?" Nightpaw asked after they finished. She kept her question vague in case he honestly didn't and was just as oblivious as the rest of the clan. Winterpaw stared at her for a few heartbeats, looking relieved. "Do you mean about the weapons and the covenant?" Nightpaw nodded in reply. Winterpaw tilted his head slightly back to look at the stars beginning to appear in the sky, eyes distant as he answered, "Jayfeather and Lionblaze were the only ones who I knew for sure noticed. I'm really happy you do to. It makes me really uneasy sometimes, how familiar the cats suddenly became with weapons that most of us had never even seen before. It's hard to tell what's real and what's not."

"Yeah, I mean, It's kind of fun sometimes, but I'm really confused. I would never usually admit that but I am. And it's really weird how little anyone noticed the change." Nightpaw agreed. Winterpaw shifted his gaze back to hers. Suddenly "Only Exception" by Paramore started playing in the background. For a few heartbeats Nightpaw couldn't break his clear blue gaze but then managed to look away. "Song, shut the fuck up." Nightpaw said. "Why?" the song replied "Because we are discussing something important." "Isn't Winterpaw important to you?" "Shut the fuck up song! Just fuck off!"

Nightpaw wanted to quickly change the subject back to the covenant, but she was too distracted and pissed off at the song to think of anything to say. She was also pissed off at herself because she did think it was actually a pretty good song, and it was hard to be pissed off at it.

Finally Winterpaw spoke, "Jayfeather said Lionblaze opened a portal, by accident I think." Nightpaw nodded, it made sense. "Is Starclan the same?" She asked, it had suddenly dawned on her that they might not be.

Winterpaw looked alarmed at her question, "I don't know, it only happened a few days ago and I haven't been to the moon pool or seen them in dreams or anything. Jayfeather said Starclan told him what was going to happen though, about the portal." "Then I have to go to the moon pool." Nightpaw announced. She had to find out just how far their change in realities went. Winterpaw stared at her with wide cerulean eyes, "can't only medicine cats do that?'

"Can apprentices leave their territory without permission? Can leaders be cocaine addicts? Can medicine cats kill, or at least kidnap, apprentices for stealing a few 'herbs'? No, but we all do anyways." Nightpaw countered, though her tone was friendly. "But the other medicine cat's won't let you." "They won't be there, we're going tonight." Nightpaw declared, wondering if Winterpaw would really come with her. Winterpaw smiled, excitement sparkling in his eyes. "Come on then, I'll show you the way."


	9. Chapter 9 Firestar is a Cross Dresser

Winterpaw led Nightpaw through the forest towards the moon pool. He was aware of her treading softly behind him. He knew that if she wanted to she could be completely silent, she could blend into the shade of the forest with skill that could easily compete with as any Shadowclan cat. Winterpaws heart sped up a bit as he felt Nightpaw slide through the trees to walk beside him. The space between the trees and undergrowth was narrow and their pelts nearly brushed. "Are we almost there?" Nightpaw asked.

"Yeah, just another minute or two," Winterpaw responded, looking up to glance at the waxing moon glowing brightly in the darkness. It was nearly high enough, they would get there just in time.

He could feel the contained excitement dancing around Nightpaw like sparks. He shared her enthusiasm, he had never really done anything like this before. He had come with Jayfeather once, last half moon, but he loved the feeling of doing the trip alone, far away from anyone to tell him what to do. And the added fact that he was with Nightpaw only improved his mood.

"Okay, we're here." Winterpaw said, leading Nightpaw towards the stone path spiraling down towards the moon pool. Nightpaws excitement danced in her dark round eyes as they reflected the moonlight shining on the water below. She walked slowly down the path, letting her paws slip easily into the ancient paw prints. Winterpaw stared at her, suddenly she looked like a fearless leader, as radiant as Starclan and as majestic and powerful as one of the great cats, like a lioness. She looked so in place here, as if she had walked with Starclan a thousand times. It was so strange, Winterpaw had no idea why.

When they reached the water Winterpaw opened his mouth to tell Nightpaw what to do but she was already crouching down to drink the cold silver water. Winterpaw wondered how she knew what to do but knew his time was limited before the moon sunk too low. Winterpaw settled down on the ground to drink the water before closing his eyes, knowing he would wake up with Starclan.

Winterpaw opened his eyes to see Tigerstar standing beside him. "What the hell? Am I in the dark forest?" Winterpaw asked, suddenly nervous. Although he had always been curious about hat the dark forest was like. "No Winterpaw for fucks sake, Look around. Sunlight, cats frolicking through the forest, everyone is acting like they're on drugs. This is Starclan." Tigerclaw snapped. "Then why are you here?" "Well, after finally realizing what a moron Firestar is, they decided I was worthy of Starclan for trying to kill Firestar in the past. Some of them act like they honor me for it" Tigertstar explained, pride shining in his voice.

"Hey you guys over there, hurry up, we're waiting." A Starclan cat Winterpaw didn't recognize called. "Come on Winterpaw." Tigerstar ordered. Winterpaw followed him towards the group of cats clustered together deep in conversation. "hey guys, we were just discussing what to do about Crowfeather when he comes to Starclan. He has had three mates over the course of his life and we don't want them fighting when they all meet up here."

"Well, he hates his Windclan mate, whatever the fuck her name is." A ginger she cat mewed, taking a drag from the smoke in her jaws. "Yeah and he hasn't seen Leafpool for so long I doubt he really cares. So we'll just keep Feather tail and tell the other two to fuck off." "We don't know he doesn't still like Leafpool ." Bluestar mewed. "How about instead we just send Crowfeather to the dark forest." Tigerstar offered. His suggestion was met by murmurs of agreement and yowls of refusal which escalated into a full blown argument.

'No! Lets just reincarnate Feathertail. She died young anyways. Crowfeather and his Windclan mate hate each other most of the time. They probably won't want to ever see each other again anyways when they get to Starclan." Bluestar suggested.

"But Crowfeather would rather be with Feathertail, he doesn't want to see Leafpool anymore. She reminds him of betraying his clan."

"Why do we care what Crowfeather wants. He's just a little bitch." Yellowfang snapped.

"Let's just reincarnate Leafpool when she dies. Her life's fucked up anyways. Her mother is the second most annoying cat in the clan. Her daughter Hollyleaf is the most annoying. Firestar is the stupidest cat in the forest. She hates all of them anyways and her and Jayfeather and Lionblaze always fight. She won't miss any of them. She can't even be a medicine cat anymore." Whitestorm said.

"True. Let's do that. To hell with Crowfeather if he doesn't like it."

"Yeah. To hell with Crowfeather!" the Starclan cats cheered.

"Holy fuck are you going to tell me something useful or not?" Winterpaw snapped, shocked at himself. That was something Nightpaw would have said. He loved the way if felt to say that, Nightpaw had the right idea with saying whatever she wanted and not trying to please all the other cats.

A golden tabby Starclan cat turned to stare at him wisely. "Yes, there is something very important you need to know." The tabby said and bounded away. Winterpaw hurried to follow him. After a while they reached waterfall cascading down into a large pool of clear turquoise water. The golden tabby bounded onto a slab of rock on the edge of the pool, gazing at the water foaming wildly where the waterfall hit the pool.

"Winterpaw?" the tabby mewed "yeah?" "This is a cross dresser waterfall. This waterfall is a cross dresser." Winterpaw stared at him "How is the waterfall a cross dresser, it's just a waterfall"

"No Winterpaw, it's a cross dresser " The tabby argued "It's a fucking waterfall," Winterpaw snapped. "Waterfalls can't be cross dressers" "Oh and how would you know! Firestar is a cross dresser and you never even noticed. You know NOTHING about cross dressers!"

Winterpaw stared at him for a few moments, surprised. The tabby cat was right. Firestar _was_ a cross dresser. How had he not noticed the fact that his leader was always wearing dresses, usually pink, as well as his favorite sparkly pink sunglasses shaped like hearts. Not to mention the excessive amount of makeup he wore. He was always stealing stuff like that from his mates apprentice Parispaw. But he still didn't see how the waterfall was a cross dresser.

"Anyways. I was supposed to tell you something important other than this." The golden tabby cat said. "The world will change, only five will know. Lion, Jay, Winter, Night, and Ghost will unite to save the clans."

"Oh cut the bullshit. I don't fucking care. Just tell me normally for fucks sake." Winterpaw snapped.

"Okay, for Starclans sake. Lionblaze opened a fucking portal, you probably already knew that. And the cats I just said are the only ones that noticed anything change. You guys have to bring the clan back to their reality because lot of crazy shit is gonna happen. It might sound exciting but everyone's gonna get really screwed up if you don't. "

"How do we bring the clans back to their reality?" Winterpaw asked

"Why would I tell you that? It would ruin all the fun!" The tabby said before breaking into hysterical laughter and spazzing out. It looked like he was having a seizure and was on cocaine and LSD at the same time.

"You little bitch…" Winterpaw trailed off and lunged at his throat.

"TELL ME! TELL ME!" Winterpaw screeched as he started strangling him. The tabby started choking as he tried to stop his hysterical laughter. Then slowly he stopped thrashing around and grew still. Winterpaw released his grip, surprised he had passed out so quickly. He had gotten too carried away.

_Oh well, it's not like it really matters. _Winterpaw thought. Him and Nightpaw could figure it out by themselves anyways.


	10. Chapter 10 Suicide Mission (part 1)

Nightpaw opened her eyes to find herself in a lush sunlit forest. "Nightpaw. We were expecting you." Nightpaw looked beside her to see a blue grey she cat staring at her with friendly icy blue eyes. "Why were you expecting me? I'm not even a medicine cat." Nightpaw said, slightly confused. "We knew you would come. You were supposed to. It was necessary." The blue she cat mewed, voice full of wisdom. "Why?" "You don't belong in Thunderclan Nightpaw, but that doesn't mean you don't have a reason to be born into that clan. _Someone _needed to kill Firestar."

"What do you mean? I never killed him. I mean, I've thought about it lots, but he's still alive." "Oh. You never did that yet?" Bluestar mewed, looking surprised, her happiness momentarily crashing into sheer disappointment. "Oh well not long now." Bluestar mewed in a happy singsongy voice.

"You know Firestar really is a son of a bitch. None of us could have imagined he would be such a failure." Bluestar muttered. Nightpaw nodded sadly in agreement.

"Nightpaw. You have a great destiny. But right now the clan is in peril, I only ask that you do everything you can to make sure Firestar loses at least one life today. He only has four left."

"No problem." Nightpaw said, smiling at the prospect of finally getting rid of that son of a bitch.

A few minutes later Nightpaw and Winterpaw were bounding through the forest towards camp. When they got there the clan was beneath the highledge staring up at Brambleclaw, who was actually sober at the moment.

"Okay. Lionblaze, Squirrelflight, Ashfur, Cloudtail, Ivypaw, Foxtail, Icecloud, and Tigerface will come with me on the battle patrol. We will release Treeshadow for this battle."

Usually the clan would challenge him but lately they had been treating him as leader since Firestar was such a moron. "Where's Firestar?" Brightheart asked. Brambleclaw ignored her. "Also Firestar wants to talk to Birchfall, Nightpaw, and Thornclaw in his den."

Nightpaw shared a glance with Winterpaw. "This should be interesting." She commented. Winterpaw looked amused and uneasy at the same time. "What if he wants to send you on the suicide mission?" "I'll take my chances." Nightpaw replied before following Birchfall and Ashfur to Firestars den. They hesitated in the entrance for a moment. They couldn't see or hear anything. "Firestar?" Ashfur called. No answer. "Lets just go in" Birchfall said. Nightpaw followed them inside and saw Firestar sitting in the farthest corner, talking to himself. "I'm sorry nyan cat but I have to go to El Doroto, it's my destiny" Firestar whispered, tears shining in his eyes.

Suddenly he seemed to notice them standing in the entrance. "Oh, I almost forgot. You are all going on a suicide mission to the covenant submarine thing that Ashfur saw. You have a few minutes to say goodbye before leaving."

"What the hell!" Birchfall shrieked. "I don't plan on dying!" 'Well… you might not if you're really lucky. I just want you to kill everyone in the submarine and take control of it. You might succeed somehow. If you disobey my orders Treeshadow will kill you immediately." Firestar said, staring at them menacingly. "You're running out of time to say goodbye to the other cats." "Fine." Birchfall growled, shifting his gaze to the ground, tail dragging in the earth as he left Firestars den.

Nightpaw wasn't sure what to think. She wasn't afraid to die really, living as a Thunderclan cat was insanely boring and usually pretty meaningless, she just wanted to make sure Firestar paid for it eventually.

Winterpaw was waiting for her outside. "What did he say?" Winterpaw asked, staring at her with wide curious eyes. "We're going on a suicide mission." Winterpaw immediately looked horrified. "Winterpaw I need you to give me a bunch of drugs. I have a plan." "O-Okay… But I'm coming with you. You need to know how to use some of them properly so they'll work best." Winterpaw mewed shakily. "Okay, but we have to leave… now." Nightpaw muttered darkly.


	11. Chapter 11 Suicide Mission (pt 2)

**Sorry I know i haven't posted a chapter in a long time but this one will be a lot longer than my other chapters. Also the whole submarine thing may not make sense, just pretend it does. I don't know everything about submarines and I know that a lot of the things I wrote may not make sense. Just to make it easier to understand though, the submarine is partially above the water so its possible for them to walk on top of it.**

When the four of them reached the shore of the lake Winterpaw was still holding on to the hope that they would be unable to get to the submarine and the suicide mission would be cancelled. They were all heavily armed, Birchfall had a machine gun and Ashfur even had an energy sword. Winterpaw wasn't sure how he got it but he didn't ask. Nightpaw had her knives of course as well as a rocket launcher. None of them bothered re-dying their fur camo, it would be useless in the submarine anyways. Unfortunately a hawk was waiting for them on the shore.

"Okay, we'll ride in the hawk until we're over the submarine, where we will skydive onto the submarine and try to find a way inside. It shouldn't be hard because we'll shoot a bunch of holes in it from the hawk. Nightpaws rocket launcher will work well for that. Once we're inside we're supposed to kill everyone but each other and take control of the submarine." Birchfall ordered.

"Holy fuck Birchfall, how the hell are we gonna do that. They'll likely shoot us down when we're still in the hawk. Then if we survive that we'll likely drown and if we don't we'll get killed in the submarine." Nightpaw pointed out.

"I know but we can't exactly swim to the submarine, it's way too far for us and Firestar hid all the inflatable rafts, he said he's saving them for a party." Birchfall replied.

"Oh to hell with it lets just go." Nightpaw mewed and stalked over to the hawk. "I'll drive." Ashfur offered. No one objected, Ashfur was the best with vehicles of all of them there anyways.

Winterpaw had never been in any type of plane before, he hadn't even ever been in a tank. He knew Nightpaw hadn't either. For a moment he wondered if Ashfur and Birchfall knew how to drive it. They had only been in this reality for less than a week. They seemed confident enough though, it seemed like as soon as the clans entered this reality they automatically acquired a bunch of new skills they had no way of knowing before the change. Winterpaw actually was starting to find this reality exciting in less of a confused way, it felt more fun to be alive.

They were all in the hawk except Ashfur who had disappeared suddenly. They waited for a few seconds for him to come back before Birchfall started getting really pissed off. "Where the fuck is he? The motherfucker probably ditched us!" Birchfall growled, flexing his claws and scratching them against the floor in agitation. Winterpaw began to wonder if he was going to have some sort of breakdown as Birchfall began tearing his claws through the seat. "We're all gonna fucking die now!" Birchfall exploded just as Ashfur opened the door and got in the drivers seat without a word. He started the hawk and took off, acting really calm. As soon as the plane was in the air he began laughing for some reason. Winterpaw stared at him in alarm as Ashfur threw his head back and laughed insanely. Everything was silent for a few seconds except for Ashfurs laughing. Birchfall was no longer angry and was just staring at Ashfur with everyone else. Suddenly Ashfur veered sharply to the left, it was unexpected and Winterpaw struggled to keep himself from slamming into the side. Ashfur was driving way faster than he had to. He didn't even seem to be looking where he was going. "Ashfur slow the fuck down." Birchfall snapped. "You're acting like a homicidal psycho Ashfur, just let me drive." Ashfur continued laughing and driving like a maniac.

"Okay Ashfur I'm going to drive now." Birchfall said calmly as if he was afraid that if he did anything to piss Ashfur off Ashfur would crash the plane and kill them all. Ashfur whipped his head around to glare at them. "If you come near me I will crash this plane into the ground and we will all die." _"Holy fuck I was right!" _Winterpaw thought as Birchfall backed away from him, fear in his eyes as Ashfur flew low enough that the plane skimmed just over the tops of the trees. Nightpaw was the only one that didn't look afraid, she seemed really pissed off though. By now they had all seemed to notice that Ashfur was going the wrong way. He was heading towards the battle, they could already see the tanks and fighting cats in the distance. Winterpaw couldn't tell whether the clans or the covenant was winning though it looked like the battle had just started.

Soon they were only a few seconds from being in the battle. No one knew what Ashfur was going to do but they were all afraid. Even Nightpaw was beginning to look uneasy. Suddenly Nightpaw smiled, eyes shining in happiness as Ashfur aimed at Firestar and fired. The ground directly beside him exploded in flames as Ashfur cursed and fired again. Nightpaw looked like she was having the best day of her life and was cheering Ashfur on. A few seconds later Winterpaw joined in. "Yeah Ashfur! Kill him!`` by now even Birchfall was excited. ``Oh fuck this.`` Ashfur muttered and began laughing insanely again. Suddenly he was driving the plane at maximum speed directly towards Firestar. `No Ashfur! Fuck! No I didn`t mean that! You insane bitch!" Winterpaw yelled. A split second later Nightpaw was pushing him off the plane as it plummeted towards the ground. Winterpaw struggled to fight the panic raging inside him as he fell through the air and crashed into the ground.

Winterpaw lay on the ground, too dazed to stand up. He could see Nightpaw and Birchfall, who must have jumped out of the plane at the last second. The sound of gunshots and screaming was enough to get him to his paws again. Someone had thankfully deployed a bubble shield around them. He forced himself to think clearly, wondering if Ashfur had succeeded in killing Firestar.

He saw Ashfur climbing out of the wreckage of the plane, somehow still alive and without any fatal injuries. Firestar was laying motionless on the ground. He could see Nightpaw staring at Firestars mangled body, he knew she was willing him not to get up. By now the clan was coming out of shock. The remaining covenant had been surprised at the crash and had ceased fire for a few moments. Only a few jackals were left , though Lionblaze was currently in the process of killing them. They hadn't won though, Winterpaw knew backup would be take the fallen covenants place within minutes.

"What the hell!`` Brambleclaw exclaimed. "What the fuck did you guys do?"

"I missed." Ashfur said simply, looking sad. "I'm sorry."

"That's okay, now go do what you were supposed to do in the first place. Birchfall can stay though, he has a lot of injuries." Brambleclaw ordered. "Okay." Ashfur agreed.

Suddenly Firestars injuries disappeared and he slowly struggled to his paws. "What the fuck were you trying to do?" Firestar exclaimed. "I just lost a life!" At the sound of those words Nightpaw visibly cheered up. Ashfur looked really proud of himself for a moment before quickly covering it up with mock concern. Winterpaw had to try really hard to look like he cared about Firestars life too.

"I got confused. I thought you were a submarine." Ashfur mewed. Winterpaw struggled to choke back his laughter.

"Well, I _was_ thinking about wearing my submarine costume today, Ashfur. But I don't look much like a submarine today, not even a yellow submarine." Firestar said, looking a bit sad. "Yeah you do Firestar. You're wearing yellow eye shadow today. It really confused me, it was the exact color of a yellow submarine." "Does it look good on me?" _Never in hell _Winterpaw bit back the words. "Yeah Firestar you look really attractive." "Aww you are too." Firestar mewed "I forgive you now, but next time let someone else drive, okay?" "Yeah, okay." Ashfur agreed. "Look! A phantom! The next attack is coming!" Someone shouted. "Okay lets go." Nightpaw mewed. "We don't have a way to get to the submarine." Winterpaw pointed out. "Look." Nightpaw mewed, motioning towards the lake. The submarine was close enough to the shore by now that they could swim to it. "Fuck. Okay, I hope you guys can swim alright." Ashfur said. Nightpaw nodded grimly, "Yeah but how the hell are we going to get in the submarine?" "Shoot at if from the shore while we swim towards it, and try not to hit us." Ashfur said.

"They'll kill me as soon as I make the first shot." Nightpaw snapped. "This is a suicide mission dumbass." Ashfur retorted. "If any of you want to live, I will get on the submarine _alive. _I have a plan but it involves me living at least till then." Nightpaw hissed, flexing her claws and giving Ashfur a look that told him to shut the fuck up.

"Fine, for fucks sake just give me your rocket launcher at the shore, I'll do it." Ashfur growled. Nightpaw nodded, looking calmer, and retracted her claws.

When they got to the shore Nightpaw handed Ashfur the rocket launcher and began to walk into the water. Winterpaw followed her, disliking the way his fur was instantly soaked with cold water. Soon they could no longer touch the bottom and began swimming. Winterpaw flinched as Ashfur fired the first shot. It hit the submarine, which was slightly above the water. Winterpaw fought panic for a second at the lack of a solid surface beneath his paws, the bottom of the lake was getting farther and farther below them as they approached the damaged submarine. When they reached it Ashfur pulled out a sniper and began sniping the enemies closest to Winterpaw and Nightpaw, who hadn't been seen yet.

When they were close enough they attempted to pull themselves onto the top of the submarine. Winterpaws claws scratched and slid down the side of it as he struggled to grip the metal, Somehow Nightpaw had made it to the top and began to help him up. Of course by now they had been seen by the covenant though Ashfur was trying really hard to cover them from the shore. When they were both finally on the submarine a group of grunts came up to attack them. Nightpaw whipped out the energy sword she had taken from Ashfur in exchange for her rocket launcher and began slashing them to pieces. Blood flew into the air as she did a twirled around with her blade, decapitating the surrounding enemies. They were dead before Winterpaw had even had his shotgun ready.

"Okay I'm going in." Nightpaw said. Winterpaw nodded and followed her into the submarine, shotgun ready. His heart was hammering in his chest and he was on an adrenaline high. All his senses soaked in everything around him, he couldn't remember the last time he had felt so alive.

"Okay Winterpaw, I am going to give them the drugs I brought. The covenant knows what they are, trust me, I never told anyone but I saw a group of them a few days ago smoking up just outside out territory. They didn't attack me or anything, they were really happy and just asked me if I wanted some. They were actually really nice." Winterpaw stared at her. "So you're saying you got high with the covenant." "Yeah but I couldn't tell anyone. No one would believe me." "Thats actually really awesome." Winterpaw said. "Yeah well I'm hoping it works again." Nightpaw replied and turned around to go into the submarine. When they were inside shots were immediately fired at them.

"Wait! I have magic!" Nightpaw yelled.

One of the enemies shouted something and the firing stopped. A deadly looking elite stalked up to them and Winterpaw forced himself not to step back, even Nightpaw looked afraid. "Magic?" The elite growled. "Yes. We have enough for everyone." Nightpaw said, opening the pack on her back and showing them the contents inside. The elite nearly began to look... friendly, though it still frightened Winterpaw somewhat.

"I'm sorry I killed those other guys on the top of the submarine but they would have killed me, I had no time to explain myself. "Come with me." The elite growled. They followed the elite through the submarine into a heavily guarded room. Inside the brute chieftain was staring at the intruders menacingly. "What is this!" He growled, lifting his hammer thing. "No, they have magic." the elite said quickly, showing him the pack full of

assorted psychedelics, weed, and some heroin and stuff. The chieftain growled again, though put his hammer down and reached for a joint from the pack. He grunted something and the elite tossed him a lighter.

Winterpaw watched, feeling a little envious, as chieftain lit the blunt and inhaled the magic smoke. Wow, some weed would be really nice right now, Winterpaw thought.

After a few moments Nightpaw spoke. "We will give you everything in this pack in exchange for peace."

The Chieftain paused, contemplating her offer. "First I must speak to the Prophet." He growled. Nightpaw nodded as they were escorted out of the room. From there they began to follow the elite somewhere else when suddenly a group of elites with rabies came charging into the submarine, directly towards the two terrified apprentices. "Oh Shit!" Nightpaw screeched. She really didn't want to get rabies... nor did she really feel like dying. She pelted after Winterpaw who was running away blindly as shots rang through the hall around them. Unfortunately the other covenant on the submarine had assumed that they were supposed to kill Winterpaw and Nightpaw too when they saw the rabid elites charging towards them. "Shit! Nightpaw, get in here!" Winterpaw said, fear wild in his eyes. Nightpaw bolted after him into a small room with a heavy metal door that they shut after them and immediately locked. Two elites were in the room at a machine gun turret, firing at the cats battling on the shore. Without hesitating Nightpaw knifed one on the back of the throat while Winterpaw shot the other one.

Nightpaw sat down for a moment, flanks heaving as she tried to breathe normally and calm her wild heartbeat. Across from her Winterpaw was staring at her with huge terrified eyes, fur on end and claws still unsheathed. Nightpaw closed her eyes, opened them again, and focused on the turret. They could still hear the covenant outside the door but she doubted they would get in… at least not for a few minutes. She leaped to her paws and inspected the turret, she had never used one before but it wasn't difficult for her. She aimed at a wraith in the battle and shot, watching with satisfaction as it went up in flames.

Winterpaw was still staring at her. She shrugged. "We might as well do something useful." She said. "Nightpaw.. it doesn't matter… " Winterpaw said. Nightpaw understood. They were likely going to die and so were the clans. Well, maybe the clans would survive, but right now staying alive wasn't looking like a promising outcome for her and Winterpaw.

She stared out at the cats, at her stupid annoying clan, at her moron leader… Wait. There _was _something she could still do. Her and Winterpaw would still probably die but at elast she would have achieved her one mission Bluestar had trusted her with.

Nightpaw smiled, she aimed at Firestar, and she fired. She watched explode, hoping it was enough for all his lives to fail him. Winterpaw crept up beside her. "Wait.. did you..?" Nightpaw nodded. Winterpaw looked at her and smiled.

And then the door was smashed open.


	12. Chapter 12 Return of Peace

Lionblaze fired at the jackal approaching him, killing it easily. Beside him Treeshadow was viciously tearing apart a hunters throat, his eyes were bloodshot and his mouth was foaming because he had rabies.

Lionblaze flinched as he felt a bullet rush by his head and whipped around, killing the second jackal in one smooth motion an he bashed its head in with the side of his gun. He looked around for more enemies, flanks heaving and exhilaration pulsing in his veins.

He was surprised when the remaining jackal was shot down by the submarine. _What the hell? _Lionblaze thought, confused. _Maybe they just have really bad aim, that or the cats on the suicide mission have somehow succeeded and have control of the turret.. though that's unlikely. _

Lionblazes thoughts were cut off at the sound of an explosion somewhere behind him accompanied by a shrill shriek. He whipped around, wondering if any of his clanmates had been hit.

He stopped dead when he saw Firestars torn up body sprawled out in pieces on the ground. Was Firestar… dead? He stopped for a moment, considering the possibility of his leader dying. He decided he liked that possibility. Besides Firestar was a bitch and had been alive for too long anyways.

Around him his clanmates were milling around Firestars body, looking shocked. Several of them looked really happy, a couple of them were even crying and Lionblaze could tell that none of them were crying out of sadness. Jayfeather looked happier than Lionblaze had ever seen him. "Starclan, please let him be dead, please let the fucking moron die…" Jayfeather muttered to over and over himself. In his mind Lionblaze repeated something similar, only adding "please let Brambleclaw make me deputy tonight".

Lionblaze had just decided that Firestar was for sure dead when suddenly the pieces of Firestars body began floating and merging back together. The clan stared in a combination of shock and horror as Firestar slowly came back to life. "Well isn't this just fucking wonderful! What a motherfucking miracle!" Jayfeather snapped, "Thanks a lot Starclan!" He yowled into the cloudy afternoon sky. "Yeah thanks a fucking lot you motherfucking starclan motherfuckers!" Lionblaze added, feeling really pissed that his good mood was so quickly ruined.

Firestar opened his mouth as if he was about to speak but was cut off when the prophet suddenly appeared in the middle of the battlefield.

"Die bitch die!" Lionblaze yowled, launching himself at the prophet only to pass right through him. "What the hell is going on!" Lionblaze screeched.

"Lionblaze for fucks sake that's a hologram!" Jayfeather snapped.

"Oh." Lionblaze muttered, feeling disappointed.

Several of the clan cats were looking at him like he was really stupid and Lionblaze started to get a bit pissed off.

"Well how the hell was I supposed to know that!" He retorted angrily.

They just kept on staring at him the same way.

"For one thing, you can see through him you moron! Also it's two-dimensional and all you can see is his head. What the hell did you think? That his head was just magically floating in the middle of a fucking field! You dumbass! No wonder you were the only one stupid enough to activate that damn portal!" Jayfeather hissed

"I didn't try to activateanything! All I did was follow a fucking light!"

"See? You can do unbelievably stupid things without even trying! Being a fucking idiot is just natural for you, you don't even have to think about it!"

"I don't even know what the fuck is going on! I think you're insulting me but how can I tell when you're saying all these fancy words like activate and dimensional and unbelievable!"

"You really are blonde Lionblaze."

"Am not!"

"Silence! Listen to me you damn cats!" the prophet suddenly shouted

"Some young cats have made a deal with the covenant. We are now in peace. Unless we are attacked first, we will no longer fight any clan cats."

"What kind of deal?" Onestar asked, looking suspicious.

"Yeah and which cats?" Brambleclaw questioned "The ones on the suicide mission?"

'Wow you send your own cats on suicide missions. That's pretty low Firestar." Onestar growled. "I was bored." Firestar explained, shrugging.

"The cats that made the deal with us were about the age of what you call apprentices. One was gray with blue eyes and the other was black with yellow colored eyes." The prophet answered

"Nightpaw and Winterpaw then." Squirrelflight said.

"Yeah but what was the deal about?" Brambleclaw asked.

"The cats you call Nightpaw and Winterpaw gave us magic in return for peace."

"What the hell?"

"You would probably call it drugs. Specifically cocaine, LSD, marijuana, heroin, and opium. We just call it all magic to be simpler."

"Really? You guys like that stuff?" Cloudtail asked

"Yes. It is worth more than anything to the covenant."

"Right on man!" Cloudtail said.

"Wait, did they use my cocaine?" Firestar asked, suddenly looking paniked

"I wouldn't know." The prophet answered

"They'd better not have!" Firestar screeched, his eyes were bloodshot and wild as he began spazzing out and thrashing around on the ground.

"Anyways." Onestar began, ignoring Firestar. "You should tell the other clans too."

"Already done." The prophet answered.

"We are so going to have a party about this!" Firestar yelled when he was done being psychotic. "I'll bring the inflatable rafts. I've been saving them for a party!"

"As much as I wish you had died in the battle, I must admit I like that idea. We should discuss it with the other clans at the gathering tomorrow. However my clan and I need to get back to camp now. We are glad to see the return of peace." Onestar said just as Windclan clan bounded away.

"We're going back too. I really need an excessive amount of alcohol after all that fighting." Brambleclaw said as the Thunderclan cats bounded back into the heart of their territory.


End file.
